The Land of Moose and Cool cars

Well this will probably be my last post for awhile...going on my family vacation if something earth shattering happens then I'll make my dad hook up his lap top in the hotel and I"ll be here typing like a mad man to tell you all about...I dunno whatever doesn't matter. I'll be in Michigan for the week so please submit all questions in written form don't call us we'll call you allow for 6 to 8 weeks for shipping and don't delay because right we're having a special offer that if you buy 1 you get 2 no 3 no but 4 free items with every purchase all you have to do is tell one friend about this amazing new product from TIM CO, thats right just tell one friend and 4 free items are your's to keep, I know what your saying to yourself could this possible be true I mean can he really be serious? YEs people I am totally serious this deal is the best deal that TIM CO has ever offered so please take advantage NOW! Just call the number flashing at the bottom of the screen operators are waiting to assist you and get you your brand new fully automatic mutliple settings with plug and play capability aquatic flaming piece of shit! so don't delay call right now and pay the oh so low low price of 5 easy payments of 89.95, thats right 5 easy payments of 89.95. You could expect to pay up to 2 million dollars from one of those department stores and you don't get half of what you get with this offically licensed TIM CO fully automatic mutliple settings with plug and play capability aquatic flaming crap. It dices slices makes six different kinds of fries! there's curly theres long theres short theres marv albert! yes the entertainging possiblities are endless with this full automatic mutliple settings with plug and play capability aquatic flaming piece of crap. So please act now while supplies last this is a once in a lifetime deal so CALL NOW!


(yea I need to go to bed...miss me? *hugs kisses* bye!) :)

something to get off my chest...

first off, through the wise words of a man I know; we'll call him l33t Haxor. I will not be posting everyday only when I have inpiration. But I will try not to go a week without posting...

and the point,

Lately I've been going through some tough times, but today I felt better. And I think the first step to me getting past alot of the bullshit in my life is to believe it has no power over me. See the mind is a poweful thing, and I have to learn to control mine...

But I'd just like to thank all the people (you know who you are) who are always there for me, and constantly remind me about the good things in life. Dan especially for a great fucking post in my blog I was sincerely fucking moved.

I love you guys,
later

"Every night I died, and every day I was born a new." Ed Norton (fight club)

I have nothing to say...

When do you cross the line? WHen do simple problems become certifiable? When do you hit hit the point where you can't help yourself? When do you give up? I keep waiting for someone to swoop in and save me and make my life so much better; the only problem is that person is me. Have I hit the point where I can admit that I won't do it? That I'm too weak to do it? Conversations like these make me want to die in my sleep...

Please, hit your children...

I fully support a parents right to hit their children. In this day and age I don't think people hit their kids enough. Some people will get all upset saying it's child "abuse"; but honestly some kids are asking to be abused. My brother in laws nephews and nieces are PRIME examples of this category. Like parents in this day and age they believe it's better to calmly ask a kid to stop an undesired behavior, and if that doesn't work perhaps a discussion with the child, and if even a more hostile punishment is required the dreaded TIME OUT. But this shit does not fucking work...these kids know the system, they know the loop holes, and in the end they get nothing but a lot of bitching from their parents oh and time out for 5 minutes big fuckin whoop, if I can run around screaming and punch people in the balls while they try to relax and actually enjoy their 4th of july bbq and all I get for punishment is to have to sit down for 5 minutes then fine I'll do it because I'm a spoiled bratty piece of shit that never got disciplined. So these kids ran around being the most obnoxious children I've ever seen, they obviously knew that I loved to be squirted with water while I enjoyed my hamburger. Children like these and morron parents who are twoo pussy to smack them around anger me to no end. IF there's gonna be a law to punish people who beat their kids too much then there should be a law for not doing it enough. I honestly considered smackin the kids upside the head myself they needed it trust me. After I was squirted though I offered a strong warning the next time the 8 year old rebel came back with his squirt gun, it went something like this.

morron child: "I'm gonna squirt you!"
me: "I wouldn't do that if I we're you..."
morron child: "why?"
me: "Because my fists arn't made of water..."
morron child runs off

After that these kids learned something about the tall guy they never met before...that he's not to be fucked with; if these parents had shown some backbone to these kids when they were younger, maybe they wouldn't walk all over them today...

How do you keep a morron in suspense?

So...I didn't have much to talk about tonight but one thing is defintly on my mind. And it all started this morning, as I grogilly rolled out of bed at 11 am like always I stumbled(yes stumbled) downstairs and ploped down at my computer to only be greeted with messages as usual. Normally I'm way to out of it to comprehend what people say, but one message defintly caught my eye. Someone (she will remain anonymous) said, "I'm going out to breakfast but I have to talk to you about something when I get back." I semi snapped out of my normal morning haze and said "ok" but really couldn't emphasize how alert I was at the momment...I couldn't just type OH MY GOD WHAT????????!!!!!!!!!
So I decided that after I ate breakfast (which couldn't take nearly as long as it would to drive to the diner, let alone sit down order cook and then come back) that I would camp in front of my computer, the usual anyways. I can't even imagine what it is that she wants as I pour myself a glass of OJ. But I figure I'll find out soon enough. After a lovely breakfast my mother prepared for me I made way back to the empty living room/my office. ANd after several different computer games and forum posting(which can get dull fast) I started wondering where the heck she was...finally it reached around 4pm and I had to eat something before I went to work. So I microwaved a healthy choice pizza sat on the couch and watched the yankees lose. Then I hoped up and got ready for work...although before I left for work I checked again online to see if she had come back, but no, no sign of her at all. so I went to work...where I slowly went mad from not knowing what was up...she probably has no idea that I sweated this brief conversation all day. And even know it kind of irks me that I still don't know what is going on...and tomorrow I'll probably be off and gone to my family bbq(aka beef roasting with the gun-toting conservatives) not to mention she will also be busy with July 4th activities. Ugh and I know it will be something silly or stupid so I'll do all this worrying and wondering for no reason what-so-ever.

I guess I'll just have to wait and see...

just fucking kill yourself part 2 [UPDATE!]

So...something amazing has come to my attention it seems a girl that we all knew back in high schoool has turned herself into quite a star...an INTERNET star and we all know how high quality those are. You can check out her website here I encourage you all to explore the site in all it's glory. I can't help but look at something like this and just laugh my ass off, I don't know what it is...I mean she's successful in all seriousness I guess we should be happy for her...but somehow I can't help but just stop and laugh at it all. It's great I love it. I can't wait to see the future's of other people from my high school days unfold...it should be memmorable...lol

Have you found jesus? (and I'm not talking about spiderman 2)

Do you believe in god? I do, something I don't talk about very often but I believe he exists even though I don't think I'm his favorite; I think he watches over me. Sometimes I just see stuff and I go: "man it's really odd that I saw that now", and yet it wasn't. And even though I may be depressed and angry at the world or myself you can't but expeirience momments in your life that are full of pure beauty, I don't care if that sounds cheesy, because it's true. And when you're stuck in the middle of this momment sometimes my mind wonders off and says thanks.
One thing I will never believe in is religion, it might be the single most evil thing in this world. Thanks to religion we've had such great things such as 9/11. Face it religion is just capitalizing on peoples faith and may those who take advantage of them burn in hell.
I don't know what god is, or what he has in store for me; but what I do know is that anything that I know of god will come from my own experiences not from some guy in a white dress or a funny book that is filled with hundreds of years of ancient christian mythology. I believe that kind of relationship is far more healthier than people who run around asking for money and going on tv yelling "JESUS HATH HEALED YOU!!!!!" or those that would tell you that your gonna burn for not going to church every sunday.
I'll end this with a quote that I don't remember where it came from but it goes..."you might not believe in god, but he believe's in you..."

Don't look down

Do you know what happens when you tell yourself not to think about something? You think about it constantly night and day; it's all that stuck in your mind it completly fuckin takes over all you want is this one thing all would be right in the world if you could just get this one fuckin thing but no, you can't have it. I know there is only one person who will understand this post but I don't care I feel a need to vent...i pray to god every night to give me something else to think about, something else to look forward to. A new drive a new meaning a new new. I need it, to take my mind off this; to help me move on and realize that it's never gonna happen. But I don't think their will even be anything new, so I'm just stuck where I am. I always feel stuck...in the same damn place watching everyone else move on. I wonder if I"ll ever get unstuck, I wonder if their will ever be a new new. I wonder if everyone is contacting the nice men in white jackets to take me off...bleh. Atleast filling out this post helped me stop thinking about it for awhile.

obssession is a weak word