Don't look down

Do you know what happens when you tell yourself not to think about something? You think about it constantly night and day; it's all that stuck in your mind it completly fuckin takes over all you want is this one thing all would be right in the world if you could just get this one fuckin thing but no, you can't have it. I know there is only one person who will understand this post but I don't care I feel a need to vent...i pray to god every night to give me something else to think about, something else to look forward to. A new drive a new meaning a new new. I need it, to take my mind off this; to help me move on and realize that it's never gonna happen. But I don't think their will even be anything new, so I'm just stuck where I am. I always feel stuck...in the same damn place watching everyone else move on. I wonder if I"ll ever get unstuck, I wonder if their will ever be a new new. I wonder if everyone is contacting the nice men in white jackets to take me off...bleh. Atleast filling out this post helped me stop thinking about it for awhile.

obssession is a weak word