Thursday, September 30, 2004

it's a beautiful world...

It's a beautiful world we live in
A sweet romantic place
Beautiful people everywhere
The way they show they care makes me want to say
It's a beautiful world
Oh what a beautiful world
For you

It's a wonderful time to be here
It's nice to be alive
Wonderful people everywhere
The way they comb their hair makes me want to say
It's a wonderful place
Oh what a wonderful place
For you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, not me

one of those rough patches...

Monday, September 13, 2004

I hate politics

There are many reasons that I hate politics, and for this post I"ll start at the beginning.

I can remember exactly when I started caring about politics. Senior year in high school I took a political science class because: 1) it was a new class just being offered, and 2) it was taught by one of my favorite teachers Mr. Robbins. Now don't mistake me finally taking an interest in politics as me becoming a diehard for either party; because I'm not. I'm just saying this was the first time I ever even thought about it, and learned more about it's inner workings. Interestingly enough to note, this was the fall of the 2000 election you know, that election where the guy who won some how lost.
The insanity of the 2000 election was more than enough for me to be completly disheartened by the system; obviously it was bullshit if it was so easy to molest and steal by simply having your brother "lose" some votes that narrowly give you a win in his state, also by turning to the supreme court filled with all those people you're daddy appointed, when in actuality you believe the supreme court has way too much power; it's ok to go against your beliefs as long as it helps you. But I'm getting off the point, anyways at this point; having lost complete faith in the system and amazed that so many people would support an idiot like Bush, I basically filed politics under the who-gives-a-shit folder in my mind and completed my senior of high school and then eventually finding myself here at the wonderful and lovely Rowan University.
And then the worst event that I hope our generations ever has to experience took place, 9/11. Something that killed thousands, and hurt millions; an event that lead me to some really irrational thinking, some very closed minded times, a time where I said alot of things I regret. "NUKE THE FUCKERS" was a constant phrase that I said, I wanted death and punishment right away for "those" responsible.
Of course all this wave a stupidity only could mean one thing: I fully supported George Bush. Why, you say? Because I had to, honestly I felt safer lying to myself, telling myself that we had a great president, a man who was strong and would defend our country. I had arguements online on message boards with people who I deemed "hippies". I basically was full of blind patriotism, because patriotism is a good thing til it's taken to an extreme, then it just becomes blind acceptance. We all rallied around our president a man we needed to be our hero, George Bush; couldn't have been happier. Right now he could have said that Osama Bin Laden was hiding on mars and we would have blasted the fucker straight out of the sky, all the while barbequeing, blasting the national anthem while pissing on poor people. It's times like these that bullshit like THE PATRIOT ACT can be passed. The Republicans had enough fear instilled in the people it was easy to pass alot of stuff they had tabled for along time, the Patriot act wasn't drafted after 9/11 it's actually been around for sometime, 9/11 just greased the wheels so to say. But back to me at this time.
When Iraq was first proposed as a nation endangering us I thought, well that makes sense; they've played the bad guys in American Soap Operas before (cnn, fox news network, etc.), I remember watching them as a child. So I listened to the evidence offered forth and was convinced. Especially the day that Colin Powell visited the UN and was basically like "Well there's the evidence and were going to war whether you like it or not, HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT!?!?" The hazy clips of planes carrying canisters that were chemical filled, conversations the CIA had recorded from cell phones supposedly talking about chemical plants. It was all very convincing; convincing of wrong doing yes, convincing enough to go to war, not really. But this was still a time of fear in America so we stood behind our "hero".
We squashed Iraq, it was a joke. Cannada would have put up a better fight, first we bombed them into oblivion in operation SHOCK AND AWE(an operation written and planned during Bush Senior's presidency). And then we skipped in and took the country, this is where the fun part starts. There were no weapons of mass destruction, weird after all the video footage of the planes and the cell phone conversations...and hmmm, and they didn't even use them on us? Well isn't that odd I mean we were basically having the easiest invasion of US history you would think they would try everything to kill some more Americans, but oddly they didn't. And supposed documents recovered showing some inkling of a Nuclear weapons devision got Republicans going 'SEE!!! SEE!!! ARN"T YOU GLAD WE KICKED THEIR ASS NOW?" they just neglected to mention those documents were dated for the 1980s and no physical evidence was found. And now what did we have a pretty big mess, we have to rebuild (yet again) another nation hoping to instill some kind of democracy, and then skip out and hopefully it will sustain itself even though it's more than likely that it will get swallowed up by all the extremist in the area who will bomb, maim, and murder til they've instilled their corupt leader into power to put everything back the way they like it.
After we were in Iraq for awhile various terrorist attacks started to occur, soldiers were captured and totured, a bunch of US troops beat and abused Iraqi prisoners(who were not in the military). A lot of stuff that made me question why we were there in the first place. Recently we hit the 1000 mark, 1000 US soldiers have died fighting in a war for Bush, was it worth it?
This last summer I saw a movie directed by a man that I think we should all consider great or atleast respect. If you don't agree with his political beliefs then atleast admit you have to have balls to take on the President of the United States, and their must be some credit to what he has to say if he scared the President and Republicans so much. Thats right I think Michael Moore is a great man, shoot me. The movie Farenheit 9/11 I think should be seen by everyone; if you think it's onesided and full of lies then atleast watch it for all the footage you never get to see; how the media(that liberal media HA!) twist and edits and cuts stuff to 1) Make the president appear less incompetent(an amazing feat) and 2) Hide the truth. Hide the truth yes. You will never see the war footage that is seen in the movie, why? Because it shows Americans dieing. Did you know that The President signed an order to ban film crews from filming the hundreds of pine boxes coming back with american flags draped on them? Bet you didn't. But their are other reasons that I think that Farenheit 9/11 was a great movie, because it helped me realize that their is another perspective on things. Up until that point I didn't care about politics, even when I was on Bush's side during the time during and after 9/11 I was just being a blind supporter. But even now where I am beginning to form my ideals on politics I am more and more becoming a hater of the entire thing.
Because the more and more you learn about politics, the more disheartening you realize the whole situation is. Everyone in politics is corupt, everyone lies, everyone wants to win and they will tell you anything to get it. Politics seperates everyone, everybody picks a team and they defend it. Even people who claim to be "middle of the road" have their side, it's just fun to say how open minded we really arn't. Their are no decent people in politics, bottom line. I don't like either side. Their are things that I like and hate about both parties and I think both parties when you boil it down are equally full of shit, and no matter who gets elected their will be so much that never gets fixed, and never gets solved and all those promisises they made to get elected will never get fullfilled, nothing will get accomplished. And this is Politics in America. I don't consider myself middle of the road, I"m defintly liberal; but don't assume that makes me a democrate because I don't agree with everything they do, and don't think that makes me a liberal republican or as GW calls it a "compasionate conservative" because I hardly agree at all with the republican party except on a mutal hate of affirmative action. So basically I'm not connecting myself to any party except when I vote this November, I will place a vote for Kerry. Because Kerry is the lesser of two evils; basically Bush has fucked up as a president, Kerry hasn't yet.
And this is why less than 50% of the nation votes, because it's which rich-white-male-liar-do-you-want-to-fuck-up-you're-country for the next 4 years? contest. Honestly I couldn't hate the American Political system more than I do now, because it makes friends look down on each other and say things that should never come between them, and argue about stuff that hardly affects their lives enough to have to have debates anytime something remotely political is mentioned. As a friend of mine put it quite appropriately "Politics is the new religion." And for some people it's disturbingly true, pick an ideology and in Bush we trust, or in Kerry we trust; or whoever is running in 4 years, or 8 years, or 12. It's the same damn thing anyways their are no great presidents anymore that we will read about in history books; their all just a bunch of sell-outs who really stand for nothing.
I have lots of radical political Ideas like banning political parties, and having strong compaign finance reform. but standing on soap boxes is not my style, which is why this isn't being sent in as a letter to the editor or response to an article in a paper; it is just being posted here in my silly little blog, that hardly anyone reads anyways. And I could rant on for pages and pages as to why Bush is evil and should not be trusted and I could show all the facts in the world to back this up, and a Bush supporter wouldn't change his mind his picked his team, He's got the red jersey on. One of the last debates that anyone was willing to have with me (it's no fun having arguements you can't win apparently...) We were talking about how Kerry flip flopped on the war. And I blindly retorted without the facts that I bet a million dollars that Bush has flip flopped on many things, and I was challenged to find the facts. So for laughs I googled BUSH FLIP FLOP, you could laugh at how many hits I got, I clicked on one such link that took me to a site that had a list of things that showed how much of a huge hypocrite Bush was, with supporting articles linked to every instance of a flip flop. After showing this to the person I was argueing with; they asked that we never talk about politics again. Because people don't want to see the truth; that no one is holy, no one is good; they are all worthless people. At best Bush is incompetent, and at worst he is using a national tragedy (that some would argue was preventable) as a means for pushing a conservative agenda, and I fear for America's future if he continues as president.
I just want to be done with politics I want it all to go away. If that means anarchy then fine, I think civilization has developed wrong; we need to start over. We need to get rid of politics, religion, and money; the trifecta of evil in the world. If you disagree then just follow what drives all evil in the world it's probably one of those 3 things, people are not ready to hear these things, because it goes against everything they've been told since birth. We live meaningless lives, in search of money, and fame and power. Instead of searching for inner peace or happiness; we worry about how big our apartment is how fancy our new sports car is. I don't want to be stuck worrying about how far I get in the rat race; I'm trying to think above the system that was handed to me, I'm questioning their view on reality.


Think For yourself.
Question authority.

Think for yourself.
Question authority.

The authorities,
the political, religious, educational authorities who attempted to... comfort us, by giving us... order, rules, regulations. Forming our minds, to their view of reality. To think for yourself, you must question authority.

In closing, if you must respond to this post please have the balls to leave your name.


Wednesday, September 08, 2004

dAdA

I honestly don't know how to deal with life anymore. Lately everything I thought was strong and true has crumbled and broken done in front of me. Strong friendships becoming nothing more than an occastional "Hows life?" people who I once had faith and had faith in me looking down on me and distancing themselves from the memories we once had. I wish it were just one person but I see in a couple of people. The more it changes for the worse two things happen: I realize how much I have had, and not realized; and I become more and more passive about life. I'm seriously starting a focus on a "what may come will come" attitude. People and ideas that I thought were concrete I'm realizing are paper thin, easily destroyed and lost. We can easily get stuck in our happy little bubble but I refuse to step back in. Whats your bubble? OH well I'm going to school then I'm going to graduate and become famous and make lots of money and...stop. Get out of the bubble your so focused on you're so focused on the future you're pissing away the present. Don't treat the present as some meaningless preamble to a greater future. Live every momment as if it's your last, great cliche. It's not just a recent death I heard about that brings up this idea of enjoying what life you have, it's that I'm really not wired the same way as some of you.
Keep your morrals, and ideals, and ambitions...

to yourself

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time....

Recap, that last post was not me...I don't know who it was but I'm back to being me again. Hi, did you miss me? Were you wondering what was wrong with that guy? I was...even when I was at my happiest that week I was second guessing it the whole time and guess what? I was right, the whole fuckin time I was right. I hate that, do you know how much I wish I could be wrong. Everyone's like hey one day it's gonna happen and your gonna be so shocked and so happy, BULLSHIT. Sell it somewhere else, no ones life reads like a hallmark card so fuckin shovel it somewhere else. Oh that last line felt good, oh yea back to being me again. Ready to get drunk make an ass of myself and ruin some girls night, god it's great being me. Don't you wish you were me? I get it all the time, people tellin me how good I got it...their like damn Tim if only I could be you for like 10 minutes...I'd never be happier. I know, but honestly I guess I'm just gifted that way; we can't all have it as good as me, sorry I'm blessed your not, deal with it. One day it won't happen again, that false hope that I got last week, that feeling that THIS IS IT!! EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE OK NOW!!!! that shit. Eventually I'll hit the point where I'm so cynical you'll have to smack me to convince me anything positeve is happening. *sigh*

oh ps.
I"ll eat your bullshit just don't expect me to smile.