This is the end.

I feel it more and more necessary for me to disconnect from the past and move on. I'm a senior and college Tim's time is nearing an end. Soon I will have to bury him along with all the baggage he carried. What will be strong enough to survive this? I dunno. Amazingly alot survived after I happily buried high school Tim. The people that are still with me now since then will carry on, but anything else? I really don't see alot of it coming with me. College has been an eye opening experience one filled with more pain than pleasure. Having had to learn tough lessons about trust mostly. Having people lie to your face, time and time again has a way of disheartening one. And then to finally force yourself to abolish your own lies, and set the record straight with people.
Have I grown as much as other's I know? Hardly. It's saddening to realize your own limitations, feeling like your missing out on so much but lack the ability to seek out fullfillment. I see it working for everyone but me, but oh well. College time is nearing completion can't lament over whats lost, because it's lost nothing I can do about it.
Others see doors opening, I see them closing, I see uncertainty, pain, loss, for me in the future. You carry with you the promise of hope because you've tasted the pinnacle of life, I live off your stories and energy.
I hope to one day turn it all around, see life how you all see it. But as I pass from one stage of life on to the next I realize I'm stuck in the same place I always am. Another set of unforgettable, unattainable moments flashed by in the blink of an eye, never to be had again. Wasted.