Why Life Makes Sense Through The Haze Of Alcohol
I'm happier drunk than sober.
Some would say "Thats sad," or "You're an alcoholic," but let's face it people who don't drink are tools, so who cares what they say? No, what I"m saying is life makes more sense when drunk. And I think I finally figured it out. We think entirely too much. We as a society are dumb as dog shit. We worry about our hair, our weight, what shoes are in style, what bands are cool, not looking stupid in front of your friends, can I chug a beer properly without out getting it all over myself? All this bullshit ruins us. Depending on who you are it could be worse/not so bad, but either way this crap does us no good. Personally for me it's pretty bad. I worry about everything, from coming off as a loser to a particular girl to random glances from people (is my fly unzipped?). Alcohol changes all this. And this is truly the only reason I wouldn't mind being an alcoholic. This voice(voices, depending on how schizophrenic you are) disappear because of alcohol; because of this you can now do things that you previously might not have been able to do: hit on that hot girl, tell that asshole how you really feel it's empowering to be drunk. And who cares if that girl is really laughing at you, you'll probably be too drunk to notice. And if that asshole who you just told off takes a swing at you, you won't feel it; alcohol is the full-proof plan to the better you. Think about it, when you don't worry about stuff life is pretty enjoyable; and if alcohol helps me stop worrying then God Bless alcohol.
Amen.
Oh, and for future notice. If you don't have the balls to leave your name, I"ll probably delete your comments just to piss you off.
Some would say "Thats sad," or "You're an alcoholic," but let's face it people who don't drink are tools, so who cares what they say? No, what I"m saying is life makes more sense when drunk. And I think I finally figured it out. We think entirely too much. We as a society are dumb as dog shit. We worry about our hair, our weight, what shoes are in style, what bands are cool, not looking stupid in front of your friends, can I chug a beer properly without out getting it all over myself? All this bullshit ruins us. Depending on who you are it could be worse/not so bad, but either way this crap does us no good. Personally for me it's pretty bad. I worry about everything, from coming off as a loser to a particular girl to random glances from people (is my fly unzipped?). Alcohol changes all this. And this is truly the only reason I wouldn't mind being an alcoholic. This voice(voices, depending on how schizophrenic you are) disappear because of alcohol; because of this you can now do things that you previously might not have been able to do: hit on that hot girl, tell that asshole how you really feel it's empowering to be drunk. And who cares if that girl is really laughing at you, you'll probably be too drunk to notice. And if that asshole who you just told off takes a swing at you, you won't feel it; alcohol is the full-proof plan to the better you. Think about it, when you don't worry about stuff life is pretty enjoyable; and if alcohol helps me stop worrying then God Bless alcohol.
Amen.
Oh, and for future notice. If you don't have the balls to leave your name, I"ll probably delete your comments just to piss you off.
posted by -tim- at 1:15 AM
4 Comments:
Alcohol is a great thing. It enables you to take a vacation from yourself.
When I started drinking in my sophomore year of college, it was a liberating experience. I would have a blast, no woman was out of my reach, and I didn't get hangovers!
I started drinking and didn't look back. That year I drank 3-4 nights a week. And the fall semester when I started to drink I got a 3.925.
For the next two years, I think I got a little TOO crazy. It would take a lot to get me drunk (and by a lot we're talking 12 shots of vodka). I would get a lot angrier when I drank. I was also reluctant to go outside of my apartment. I could sit in my room and get drunk and be perfectly content.
Everybody called me an alcoholic. So I said to myself that I'd stop drinking for 30 days (typical length of a rehab program) to prove them wrong. It turned into 109.
That's the point you want to avoid. You want to be able to get drunk somewhat cheaply, remain social, and not get angry drunk. If you see yourself reaching the point I was at, I would suggest chilling out for a week or two.
- Mike Eliason
Tiny...i like my booze as much as the next guy but what you typed there is serious...you might have a problem. Seek help. Anyway...i'm going to go smoke a bowl, later.
Bob
I hope the irony of that post was intentional.
We all have our problems right bob?
What do you mean, irony
Post a Comment
<< Home