This just in...
WE'RE NOT DEAD!
God I thought we were really done for when I heard the Red Sox won the World Series, I mean next to the Eagels winning a superbowl nothing would convince me of the upcoming apocolypse such as these. But yet here we are, the eclipse has come and past tonight the sky will show two pentagrams that I guess the devil can admire from hell...because it seems to me that today all is right with the world.
Things that we're theorized to happen:
1) Pope dies, then the new pope is chosen (supposed to be the anti-christ)
2) According to the Mayans, our era of the Jaguar (a really expensive car) ends. What does this mean? Gravity reverses due to variations in the sun. I was planning on a doing a superman type maneuver.
3) The Rapture, Jesus comes down from the heavens and brings all his devout follwers, and only the devout (those nutsos on tv, you know them) back to Heaven with him so that they may escape the end of the world. Which would stretch out 7 years after the rapture, this would include the rise of the anti-christ, a giant world war, and everyone dying.
4) God comes down has some tea, explains to us why we suck, and then pops the world like a big balloon with an even bigger needle. (MY THEORIES COUNT TOO!!!)
But ALas, so far none of this shtuff has happened yet. I guess when a day is prohpecied as the end of the world they need to give us a time, cuz I crawled under my bed around midnight, just incase. But it's 10:40am on the day to end all days, and we're all just chillin here. But I'm done rambaling I have to go to class. Just wear a helmet today can carry a Bible, the Torah, Kohran, or any holy book because when this shit goes down you don't want to be caught with the wrong book let me tell you, when the test is open book take advantage.
God I thought we were really done for when I heard the Red Sox won the World Series, I mean next to the Eagels winning a superbowl nothing would convince me of the upcoming apocolypse such as these. But yet here we are, the eclipse has come and past tonight the sky will show two pentagrams that I guess the devil can admire from hell...because it seems to me that today all is right with the world.
Things that we're theorized to happen:
1) Pope dies, then the new pope is chosen (supposed to be the anti-christ)
2) According to the Mayans, our era of the Jaguar (a really expensive car) ends. What does this mean? Gravity reverses due to variations in the sun. I was planning on a doing a superman type maneuver.
3) The Rapture, Jesus comes down from the heavens and brings all his devout follwers, and only the devout (those nutsos on tv, you know them) back to Heaven with him so that they may escape the end of the world. Which would stretch out 7 years after the rapture, this would include the rise of the anti-christ, a giant world war, and everyone dying.
4) God comes down has some tea, explains to us why we suck, and then pops the world like a big balloon with an even bigger needle. (MY THEORIES COUNT TOO!!!)
But ALas, so far none of this shtuff has happened yet. I guess when a day is prohpecied as the end of the world they need to give us a time, cuz I crawled under my bed around midnight, just incase. But it's 10:40am on the day to end all days, and we're all just chillin here. But I'm done rambaling I have to go to class. Just wear a helmet today can carry a Bible, the Torah, Kohran, or any holy book because when this shit goes down you don't want to be caught with the wrong book let me tell you, when the test is open book take advantage.
posted by -tim- at 10:29 AM
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