My Advice: Take Advantage Of Drunk Chicks...
OK so we've all been there. You're at a social gathering of some sort, if it's at Rowan you're stuck in some cramped basement drinking warm beast and "In Da'Club" comes on for the 50th time. This girl your with is wasted completely off her ass, she's basically offering herself to you. You on the other had are not that drunk. You chugged up a couple beers but couldn't get drunk before the Frat got kicked (fuckers). She being so small was probably fucking gone after 2 beers. So you bide your time and offer to walk her home. You cruise across campus stumbling past groups of beer zombie freshmen asking "Yo where da party at?" and finally make it back to her dorm. You pause outside to wrap up a cute conversation about Beyonce going solo or whatever you damn kids talk about these days. When finally you have a moral decsion to make. Do you A) Go upstairs and take advantage to this poor thing who is using the wall of Mimosa to keep from toppiling over? Or do you B) Give her a peck on the cheek pass her the screen name, and tell her you'll see her around? So what did you say let me see your score sheet.....you answered B *Buzzer* Oh i'm sorry thats incorrect, the correct answer was DO IT YOU FOOL! Confused? Allow me to explain. If this chick is as wasted as I described as above or a sorrority chick, then you could probably go as close to impregnating her without her caring in the morning. Of all the bad things that can happen to you their really all unlikely, she'll probably wake up with a hang over with no clue as to what happened, as long as you make sure you're not there in the morning then your fine. If she has a cockblocking roommate then you were fucked from the start, and it doens't matter if you wanna get jiggy with it. But if you're stupid like me, then those few seconds before you trot upstairs to violate a girl something told you wait a minute. What if I take the high road? What if I play the hero, and not the villain? I bet she would really respect me having the control to just walk her home and then leave, only to reestablish connections at a later time. I WAS WRONG, and you're wrong too if you think this will work, why? Because mostlikely she's too drunk to even remember YOU period. And if she does remember you she'll take what you did the wrong way. She either think that you arn't attracted to her, or perhaps that you were too pussy to go for it. Either way their is no advantage to not screwing over the bitches. I think this is a deep life lesson that every man has to figure out for himself, girls only understand being mistreated. So as the saying goes: "Treat a girl like dirt, and she'll stick to you like mud."
posted by -tim- at 1:18 AM
8 Comments:
wow tats a really crapping saying..the dirt and mud...im guessing the genius one-liner was a guy?? hahaha...but still ur view of things are still appreciated...i guess you get what you deserve....but not wanting anything in return is the catch....*wink..
take cares til..next X...
I abide by the dirt and mud saying completely. In fact, it's one of my favorites. And it explains why all the dipshit assholes get the hot women. Next time I'm faced with this situation I shall think of the wise Timothy and plunder that RU slut like there's no tommorow. Goodnight ladies.
Exactly! I abide by one rule: chicks are out of their freaking minds. And for the most part, they're pretty dumb. For instance, their obsession with shoes. They want to nail guys, and they spend so much time on something we never notice when we're busy staring at their tits.
The one-night stand is nothing to be ashamed of! It's better than a graduation ceremony, and should have greater feelings of triumph!
When she leaves in the morning, it should be to the sound of graduation bells playing in the background. As an asshole, your primary mission in life is to use your screwed-up attitude to make chicks do thying they claim they don't want to do -- like sleeping with you, or giving you a blowjob in the back of a car -- and then dump them like last week's garbage. The one night stand personifies this quest.
Sleeping with them represents only half the battle, though. Sure, it's always exciting to bed down some new tramp, and the reuslting orgasm also can be pretty cool, despite the fact that it only lasts about a second and a half. But the real enjoyment, the true victory, i9s when you send her on her way the next morning, WITHOUT asking for her name, number or any other identifying information. There is almost nothing in the world better than slamming the door behind some semi-hooker after a night of stinky pinky, turning on the TV, eating a bowl of Count Chockula, and falling immediately back to sleep.
This is the triumphant feeling that usually occurs after your country has beat the living shit out of some third-world country, like Iraq. If you want to call these things "Saddams", that's entirely appropriate. :-)
- Take a wild guess who I am . . .
ouch
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Feminists are not aloud to post on my blog.
Get back in the kitchen.
That dirt/mud thing is bullshit. If you treat a girl like dirt, and shes one thats actually worth keeping, she'll walk out on you, and then you'll drive yourself crazy wondering why the hell you did what you did and then you'll drie yourself crazy all over agian trying to get her back...
~Kelli
Fantasy if fun and all. But lets keep this conversation based in reality.
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