The world has so much beauty.
The other day...thursday to be exact. I was bored and recooping from the previous nights escapades(HA!), and was kicking it on the couch with greasey food and an amazing movie called "American Beauty". What I love about this movie is that if you allow yourself to be totally engrossed in it (some people lack this ability) you really get a warm and fuzzy feeling from it. It's funny that despite the shit storm that his life is at present date, he finds a way to get past it all and realize whats really important in life, his own happiness. You should be at first and foremost concerned with your own wellbeing, sure do what you can for others but a life of sacrifice is a wasted life. Sacrifice some, because helping others you will gain gratification, but the character that Kevin Spacey played, had basically put his whole life on hold for his wife, and grew to resent her and his daughter. But I'm getting off the point.
There's alot of bullshit in life: Work, School, Significant Other, Society. Kevin Spacey's character found peace and happiness when he realized it all didn't matter. All this bullshit was created by man, fuck him I"m not listening to him anymore. If there is a god and his placing me upon this earth was for benevolent reasons then I must assume that the pain and agony experienced in my life is not his doing, but a creation of man. Be it you want to launch into a huge debate about god testing you blah blah blah, I'm not in the mood. The end goal of life is for us to learn the meaning of life...nah I don't think so, but how about to appreciate life for the gift that it is.
At the end of the movie Kevin Spacey's character is looking at a picture of him and his wife and daughter years earlier they are all happy and he is considering the beauty of life, when he gets a bullet to the head. During his death sequence he talks about the best experiences of his life, honestly I was moved to tears when I first saw this movie, and to this day when I see this scene I don't think truer words have been spoken of life.
So now, when I"m feeling down about my current state of affairs I try to think of all the happy moments that are flashing before my eyes, you should try it too. Think of all the amazing experiences you'll look back on, and long for. All the people you may not have in your life again, the idealic images you had of them be them true or not doesn't matter. Honestly I think about losing what I have in my life now and I want to give you all hugs, because when I think about all I don't have it's amazing when I force myself to think all that I do. Now don't let this rush of emotion tople you over, look back even further. If you need pictures go and find them. Year books, photo albums, old christmas tree decorations, an old paper you wrote in 5th grade. Do the memories come rushing back to you? Close your eyes, your there again; playing football with a friend that moved away in the 7th grade. Flirting with that girl that gave you goosebumps during recess. Getting yelled at by that teacher you hated, only to go home and have mom fixing dinner and putting the world back into perspective. When I look back I can't help but be overwhelmed with the amount of happiness I've had and experienced not just from people, but from the peaceful momments that existed in a single frame of time.
I look back at these images, there still in my mind. I don't cloud them with present information. Like how that person decided they hated you, or how she got knocked up and dropped out of high school. Just freeze the moment in your head and marvel at how amazing life is.
When I"m at my most depressed, I cast an unsettled look at my college life. Did I do poorly in classes when I should have worked harder? Yes. Did I not set out and accomplish all the goals I set before myself? Yes. Have a spent a great deal of my college career single and lonely? Yes. But along the way I have had some of the most beautiful and cherished experiences I will have for the rest of my life.
It was my first drink
It was making friends who seemed like they would be in my life forever.
It was a playful snow fight and then snuggling inside all warm.
It was thinking that she had finally come around and that things would be alright from there on.
It was taking the helm and succeeding in a class.
It was standing up for my ideas.
It was hitting rock bottom, and those that picked me up.
It was seeing that I was loved, and appreciated.
It was being on my own for once, and making it.
It was finally realizing I don't have to be in pain all the time.
Honestly I could keep going but you've probably already had enough of this post. Your stuck in reality, where happiness is determined by how much money is in your pocket, how high your gpa is, and how many people want to sleep with you.
Not me...
There's alot of bullshit in life: Work, School, Significant Other, Society. Kevin Spacey's character found peace and happiness when he realized it all didn't matter. All this bullshit was created by man, fuck him I"m not listening to him anymore. If there is a god and his placing me upon this earth was for benevolent reasons then I must assume that the pain and agony experienced in my life is not his doing, but a creation of man. Be it you want to launch into a huge debate about god testing you blah blah blah, I'm not in the mood. The end goal of life is for us to learn the meaning of life...nah I don't think so, but how about to appreciate life for the gift that it is.
At the end of the movie Kevin Spacey's character is looking at a picture of him and his wife and daughter years earlier they are all happy and he is considering the beauty of life, when he gets a bullet to the head. During his death sequence he talks about the best experiences of his life, honestly I was moved to tears when I first saw this movie, and to this day when I see this scene I don't think truer words have been spoken of life.
So now, when I"m feeling down about my current state of affairs I try to think of all the happy moments that are flashing before my eyes, you should try it too. Think of all the amazing experiences you'll look back on, and long for. All the people you may not have in your life again, the idealic images you had of them be them true or not doesn't matter. Honestly I think about losing what I have in my life now and I want to give you all hugs, because when I think about all I don't have it's amazing when I force myself to think all that I do. Now don't let this rush of emotion tople you over, look back even further. If you need pictures go and find them. Year books, photo albums, old christmas tree decorations, an old paper you wrote in 5th grade. Do the memories come rushing back to you? Close your eyes, your there again; playing football with a friend that moved away in the 7th grade. Flirting with that girl that gave you goosebumps during recess. Getting yelled at by that teacher you hated, only to go home and have mom fixing dinner and putting the world back into perspective. When I look back I can't help but be overwhelmed with the amount of happiness I've had and experienced not just from people, but from the peaceful momments that existed in a single frame of time.
I look back at these images, there still in my mind. I don't cloud them with present information. Like how that person decided they hated you, or how she got knocked up and dropped out of high school. Just freeze the moment in your head and marvel at how amazing life is.
When I"m at my most depressed, I cast an unsettled look at my college life. Did I do poorly in classes when I should have worked harder? Yes. Did I not set out and accomplish all the goals I set before myself? Yes. Have a spent a great deal of my college career single and lonely? Yes. But along the way I have had some of the most beautiful and cherished experiences I will have for the rest of my life.
It was my first drink
It was making friends who seemed like they would be in my life forever.
It was a playful snow fight and then snuggling inside all warm.
It was thinking that she had finally come around and that things would be alright from there on.
It was taking the helm and succeeding in a class.
It was standing up for my ideas.
It was hitting rock bottom, and those that picked me up.
It was seeing that I was loved, and appreciated.
It was being on my own for once, and making it.
It was finally realizing I don't have to be in pain all the time.
Honestly I could keep going but you've probably already had enough of this post. Your stuck in reality, where happiness is determined by how much money is in your pocket, how high your gpa is, and how many people want to sleep with you.
Not me...
posted by -tim- at 9:16 PM
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