call me touchy

Every little thing bothers me. I'm finally admitting that to myself. Of all my weaknesses, it's the worst. Nothing can be more devastating to your life; trust me. Ashlee calls me touchy, this bothered me (hence the name). But now I know she was right, everything bothers me, down to the smallest comment or gentle jab at ones appearance everything ways hard on my own feelings about myself and those around me. I wonder if that makes me spineless, or weak. Like I can't stand up for myself, I can't just stand up for what I believe in, I suppose. I blow everything out of proportion. This topic came to mind because of my recent visit to the boro. In which I incountered a person who brought a lot of pain into my life. Whats great is that we skipped that whole appologenic phase and went on pretending like nothing ever happened. Fine I played her game while I was there, and I would have been perfectly fine fulfilling her bullshit fantasy world if not for one bullshit thing I heard her say. Apparently she remarked to someone how proud she was how she handled herself around me. What the fuck, fuck you; I fucking hate you, I never thought I'd ever go from one polar opposite to the other so fast but it's fucking happened you are the most fucked up person I know, and quite honestly you could drop dead right now and I'd dance on your grave the next day, be proud to be one of the few people I can say that about. I kept telling myself you weren't worth the hate, yea hate takes time, takes effort so I chose to ignore you; hell I even defended your pathetic ass against people you call your friends, people who havn't stopped telling me how better off I am that this shit didn't happen, thats right defended you; I pitied you and therefore couldn't knock on you when you were down, but fuck that fuck that right now. And those who look at this and remark how pathetic this is that this is still going on how can I get it out of my fucking head? Nothing was ever resolved the crazy bitch just decided to ignore it; I don't have the luxury of a fantasy world I'm stuck in a harsh reality. If your gonna treat someone like dirt you should have the guts to stick by it and say this shit to my face not just run away and cry that you can't deal with it, FUCKING DEAL WITH IT. And the thing that bothers me most about you, you never read my letter you cast it aside, like me. You have no good in you, I don't care what happened to you to make you like this; because you have no interest in changing for the better, your only interest is spreading the same pain that might have made you the way you are, but that gives you no excuse.

Everyday is nothing but stress to me
Constantly dwellin on how you got the best of me
Wanna know somethin
I cant believe the way you keep testin me
and mentally molestin me
But would you think any less of me
if I said that i'd be there
would you think any less of me
if I said I really cared
of course you would
cause you only want what you cant have
as for me I'm stuck with my dick in my hand
because you don't feel nothing at all!!
you don't feel nothing at all
Maybe there's more to life then it seems
I'm constantly runnin from reality chasin' dreams
Wanna know somethin' I cant believe?
just how much misery
comes with humility
Do you think any less of me
now that I'm gone?
look at me now everything is gone
I cant seem to do anything right,
but I've figured out why you don't let me inside
because you don't feel nothing at all!!
you don't feel nothing at all
You need nothin' from me now
So you thinkI'm useless to you now
but I need one thing from you now
I insist that you feel me now!!
you said you needed me
You said You said

because you don't feel nothing at all!!
you don't feel nothing at all